I don’t believe in French Toast.
When I was 37 weeks pregnant I tested positive for Group B streptococcus. It’s no big deal. 15% to 40% of all healthy, adult women have it. The only problem with it is that there is a 1 in 100 chance of it being transmitted to the baby during labor, which can lead to the baby getting pneumonia, meningitis, heart problems, blood pressure instability, and kidney failure. It could also flat out kill the baby.
Wait, that sounds like a big deal.
Before you panic, there’s a treatment that prevents the baby from getting GBS. It’s called Penicillin. When I (finally) go into labor, and get to the hospital, the doctor will give me a shot of penicillin. The penicillin will go through my system, make it’s way to my placenta, and get into Foetus. When Foetus gets the penicillin, it will no longer be at risk for getting GBS. That’s it. One shot (or two depending on how long I’m in labor) of penicillin and my baby won’t get meningitis.
Boo Meningitis! Hooray Science! Hooray Penicillin! Hooray Beer!
There’s this ‘soapbox mom’ I know, who when I told her about my GBS positive freaked out. Why? Not because of pneumonia, or meningitis, or kidney failure, but because of penicillin. You know, because it’s so horrible how in America GBS positive pregnant women are FORCED to get penicillin by the CDC. Penicillin could make the baby sick! Think about the risk! Babies who get penicillin have a statistically higher chance of getting sick during their first few months! It will be harder to breastfeed! You might end up having to give your kid formula! FORMULA!!! THE HORROR!
You know what’s worse than giving your kid penicillin, causing it to get a cold, and having it (somehow) end up on formula? Much worse? Meningitis. Google it. Now. I’ll wait…
I’m not a doctor, but I’m going to go ahead and hypothesize that formula fed penicillin babies have a higher chance of survival than the 1 in 100 meningitis or pneumonia babies. They certainly have a higher survival rate than the dead babies.
So you might be thinking, this ‘soapbox mom’ is a real asshat for trying to make me feel bad over penicillin. Maybe she is. It doesn’t matter. I don’t feel bad, and she’s entitled to stand on her soapbox and voice her opinion. That doesn’t make her right, but whatever. This is America. She has a right voice whatever opinion she wants.
So anyway, imagine her horror when I told her about 'Plan B'. Imagine her further horror when I told her that I was totally ok with it.
INDUCED? I’M OK WITH BEING INDUCED?
Yes. I am.
But people who get induced have a statistically higher chance of getting an epidural which leads to a statistically higher chance of getting a C-section! Are you ok with C-sections?
Yes. I am.
It is entirely possible (and a little bit likely) that if I make it to 42 weeks, I will end up with a C-section. The vast majority of doctors induce labor if the mother goes 2 weeks past her due date (42 weeks) in accordance with the medical standards of the good ‘ol U S of A.
Soapbox Mom’s response? “I don’t want the state to tell me when to give birth”.
Good for you. I’m not a fan of the government telling me what to do. That’s why I make my decisions based on what my doctor and midwife tell me. Of course at my last appointment where we discussed 'Plan B' the midwife had to call Sheldon Silver first, and get his opinion…later that week during a discussion of the government’s decisions regarding my labor on ‘Inside City Hall’, Curtis Sliwa dangled soap on a rope in of the camera and Gerson Borrero kept calling Mike ‘Miguelito’… but that’s besides the point.
Yes, it’s more profitable for hospitals (and insurance companies) to do C-sections than to do natural births. That doesn’t mean all C-sections are conspiracies. Nor does it mean that induction at 42 weeks is inhumane and my doctor is evil. And it doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person or a bad mom for trusting my midwife and agreeing to her plan.
-I should mention that soapbox mom refused to be induced, was pregnant for waaay longer than 42 weeks, and gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby at her planned home birth. Good for her and her healthy baby. May we all have healthy babies-
But Rachel! I thought you BELIEVED in natural birth!
Belief doesn’t belong in birth. I think people throw the word belief around too much.
I don’t believe in natural birth.
I don’t believe in evolution either. I accept the theory of evolution based on the evidence behind it, but I don’t believe in it. I wouldn’t cling to evolution if scientists found evidence to suggest that humans didn’t come from primates but from oysters instead. If science proves that we came from oysters planted on Earth by Plutonians as part of an elaborate practical joke, I would accept it. Belief has no place in science.
So with that being said, I accept natural birth. Based on my research on the subject, classes I took, and a bunch of other stuff, I accept that the best thing for most-or at the very least my- baby would be an intervention free vaginal birth. Ideally I will go into labor naturally, do most of my labor at home, and then when it’s time, have Mike drive me to Roosevelt Hospital for a complication free birth center birth. No drugs, No painkillers, No surgery.
Unfortunately we don’t live in an ideal world. My original birth-plan is still possible, and I have until November 1st to go into labor naturally before I get kicked out of the birth center and moved into the regular hospital labor section. And I have until November 9th to have a natural birth in the regular Labor and Delivery wing at the hospital. I could get induced. I could need a C-section and end up with a penicillin tweeking formula baby. I’m ok with that.
What I’m not ok with are soapbox moms who throw around words like ‘statistics’ or ‘science’ or ‘veganism’ or ‘breastfeeding’ or ‘I believe’ or anything to hide the fact that all they really want to do is validate their misuse of belief by making other moms feel bad about their different choices. Seriously- unless you see a mom beating her kid with a Klingon pain stick- her parenting decisions are probably no better or worse than yours.
What I’m not ok with is soapbox moms who give me shit for not ‘fighting for’ a natural birth. The goal isn’t to have a natural birth. The goal is to have a healthy baby…no matter what you do to get one. The goal isn’t to breastfeed, it’s to feed you baby. If the best way to do that is tit juice, then good for you. If the best way to do that is formula, then good for you. Lucky we live in a country where we can choose how to feed our babies. G*d Bless America.
What I’m not ok with is moms who spend their days standing on a soapbox trying to talk down to me about what they believe is the best way I should have and raise babies. Statistically, I believe soapbox moms are asshats. See? I said statistically and I believe. Therefore I am right and you suck.
I like French Toast. My ideal breakfast is French Toast. However, if there is no French Toast available I’ll eat something else. I’m not going to starve myself until I get French Toast.
I don’t believe in French Toast.