The following conversation actually fucking happened:
Catholic Person: Are you having the baby baptized?
Me: Mike and I are Jewish
CP: Yeah but what about the baby
Me: Also Jewish
CP: But if she isn’t baptized what are you going to do?
Me: Well I’m pretty new at this but I imagine I’ll be doing some combination of feeding, cleaning, and burping
CP: So what do Jews do?
Me: Boys get a bris
CP: And girls?
Me: Well some girls have baby naming ceremonies, but not everyone does it
CP: That’s sexist
Me: I think that if you had your foreskin removed you deserve a party. Also I’m pretty sure the catholic church isn’t in a position to call ANYTHING sexist seeing as you only rape the little boys.
CP: Yo that’s not right. All I’m saying is that you should baptize your baby.
Me: What’s not right is you trying to pour a bowl of your religion over my baby’s head. Or do you people do the dunking thing
CP: You don’t have to be a bitch about it.
I miss the good ol days when the catholics would just kill the people who wouldn’t get baptized instead of constantly nagging them. But I guess torturing and killing everyone isn’t politically correct anymore.