King oyster mushroom from the farmers market. What should I do with it?

Step 1: Put flax seed meal in a bowl (I grind my own but you can buy pre-ground in the store- It goes bad VERY quickly though…and un-ground stays good in the fridge for up to a year)

Step 2: Get a spoonful of “stuff”. I used apple butter for my stuff but you can use anything you want for flavor (fruit puree, maple syrup…whatever). Add it to the flax seed bowl.

Step 3: Heat up some kind of milk (rice milk, soy milk, moo-cow fuck milk…whatever) in the microwave. I use about twice as much milk as flax in the bowl. Use whatever quantity you want, I don’t care.

Step 4: Gradually add the milk whilst stirring. Keep doing this until you get the desired thickness

Step 5: NOMNOMNOM

Step 6: I CAN HAS MOAR? WANT!

Step 1: Catch a Fish (make sure it has BOTH fins and scales)

Step 2: Get a guy who isn’t skeeved out by fish guts to fillet the fish for you (but keep the heads etc to make the fish stock)

Step 3: De-bone the fish fillets

Step 4: Place the  bones, skin, and fish heads in a large pot. Add water and salt and bring to a boil. Remove the foamy stuff. Slice 1 onion in rounds and add along with some carrots, and celery. Add sugar and bring to a boil. Cover and simmer for about 20 minutes while the fish fillets  are being prepped.

Step 5:  Put the deboned fish fillets in a blender.

Step 6: Blend them.

Step 7: In a Slapchop finely chop  onions,  carrots, and maybe a parsnip- add to the blended fish

Step 8: Mix in  eggs,  some salt, pepper,  cold water, and mix . Stir in enough matzah meal to make a light, soft mixture into ovals (or cubes for all I care), about the size of…i dunno… a fracking gefilte fish.

Step 9: Take the onions, skins, head, and bones out of the pot and return the stock to a simmer. Put the fish ovals (or trapezoids) in the simmering fish stock. Cover loosely and simmer for an episode of COPS.
Step 10: Remove the Gefiltes from the stock with a spoon with holes in it (thine holy spoon).

Step 11: Chill, Smother in horseradish, Feed to husband.