Staten Island is in South America. Really.

I have a giant world map on my living room wall and while I was feeding Adi I was looking at it and noticed that there is a Staten Island off the coast of Argentina. I had no idea.

I wonder if they have a gigantic pile of trash and Republican civil servants there too.

I knew Argentina had a lot of Italians but this is ridiculous.

I want bagels, real bagels not the frozen bagels, or those bullshit circular wonderbreads with a fucking hole in the middle, but real life hand rolled bagels because I’m spoiled because I used to go to Brooklyn all the time ever since I was a little kid but now that I’m about to pop, I can’t go down there all the fucking time for eating and grocery shopping and more eating so I need a Plan B which right now  is going to the farmer’s market and begging all of the baked goods people to start having bagels, I mean they sell Challah there but what the fuck good is selling Challah on a Saturday morning? If it’s Saturday I already have my challah I want Bagels!!! If you assholes can sell me 3 different kinds of Babka you can sell me a fucking bagel and every time I’m forced to eat a non-New York bagel I die a little inside.