Vayishlach: Genesis 32:4-36:43

Jacob and Esau hug/

Silly Shechem, Chicks are for Yids!/

Bilhah smashed the homie

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READ THIS PARSHAH!: http://www.chabad.org/parshah/torahreading_cdo/aid/15554

Read Past Parshah Haikus!!

http://is.gd/5ebKS -vayeitzei

http://is.gd/56fLI -toldot

http://is.gd/4YT8J -chayei sarah

http://is.gd/4RJW7 -vayeira

http://is.gd/4RJYS -lech lecha

http://is.gd/4RK0s -noach

http://is.gd/4RK38 -bereshit

For those of you who missed previous week’s haiku or are desperately trying to block my poor attempts at pious poetry out of your minds-I’ve decided to write haikus for every parshah in the Torah! (goyim translation: I make a weekly 5-7-5 diddy about sections of ye olde testament)*

*This week’s haiku is 6-8-6

Noach: (Genesis 6:9-11:32)

G*d gets hella pissed/

Noah sloshes around in an arc/

Then gets really sloshed

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BONUS HAFTORAH HAIKU! (Isaiah 54:1-10)

Isaiah says chill/

G*d won’t get pissed off at Jews/

Hills might collapse tho

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For those of you who missed last week’s haiku or  are desperately trying to block my poor attempts at pious poetry out of your minds-I’ve decided to write haikus for every parshah in the Torah! (goyim translation: I make a weekly 5-7-5 diddy about sections of ye olde testament)

Read this weeks parshah! http://www.chabad.org/parshah/TorahReading.asp?AID=9168&p=1

I’ve decided to write haikus for every parshah in the Torah! (goyim translation: I make a weekly 5-7-5 diddy about sections of ye olde testament) Just in time for Simchat Torah! Huzzah!

Bereshit 1:1-6:8:

In the Beginning/

We ate bad fruit and Cain killed/

Blah Blah Blah Noach

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BONUS HAFTORAH HAIKU!

Isaiah 42:5-21

G*d told Isaiah/

To get his prophesy on/

Don’t F*ck with Israel